NOM BLOG

Category Archives: Marriage

It's Working


Our push to urge Members of Congress to introduce legislation to protect people of faith from governmental persecution for living out the truth of marriage in their daily lives and at work is working. Thousands of people have reached out to members of Congress urging them to introduce and support the First Amendment Defense Act (FADA). These patriots know that without the legal protections that FADA would provide, faith-based nonprofit groups, small businesses, churches, pastors and priests, schools, charities and individuals will continue to be subject to targeting by government officials whenever they do not embrace the extreme agenda of LGBT activists and the left.

We need to keep the pressure up on Congress so that when they return to Washington after Labor Day they give us action, and not more empty promises. That's why I am asking you to please support the National Organization for Marriage with an immediate financial contribution. The plain fact is that we need to raise additional resources to push Congress and the Trump administration to provide the protection they have repeatedly promised.

Many NOM members have responded with help, and for that I am grateful. If you have not yet been able to make a contribution, I ask that you prayerfully consider one now.

If you have not yet contacted your member of Congress to ask him or her to introduce and support the First Amendment Defense Act, there's still time to act. You can click on this link to look up your Representative in Congress. (You'll have to enter your zip code).

The reality of the political situation in America today is that Republicans in Washington – from President Trump on down to the most junior member of the House of Representatives – owe their election to people of faith, who form the core base of political support that delivered both houses of Congress and the White House to the Republican Party. Despite this, we've heard little but talk from them since they were sworn into office this past January. We need them to stop talking and start doing. Introducing and passing the First Amendment Defense Act needs to happen now.

You can help NOM push for urgently needed legal protections by contributing to support NOM and by contacting your Representative in the House to urge action on the First Amendment Defense Act.

Faithfully,

Brian S Brown

Donate Today!

Sometimes There's Only One Right Word

The French writer Gustave Flaubert famously spent weeks sometimes pondering a single word looking for just the right one - what he called "le mot juste."

flaubert

Flaubert recognized that sometimes there really is only one perfect term to describe the essence of a particular thing. Well, there is one perfect word to describe our culture's dissonant approach to marriage and family, and that word is incoherent.

An article in yesterday's Washington Times reports that there is a growing concern about "irresponsible fatherhood" in our society: "Despite myriad efforts by fatherhood programs, too many men are ending up in multiple relationships, with multiple children from multiple mothers."

An expert quoted in the article suggests that men need to "advised... to 'slow down,' 'prepare for fatherhood,' realize that a mother and child are 'a package' and 'take time' to select a loving partner and future mother."

Erasing the First Amendment

But these efforts to address a very real concern are incoherent in a cultural context where powerful forces are pushing a radical agenda to redefine marriage and thereby necessarily redefine the roles of parents, making 'fatherhood' an expendable option and devaluing the unique services that men and women each provide in raising children.

To preserve and promote fatherhood requires first that we preserve and promote the true definition of marriage. Marriage is like a key-word for a cipher which, when you get it wrong, causes all the connected code-words to fall apart too. Fatherhood depends on the meaning of the unique and special union of one man and one woman.  And for that union, le mot juste is "marriage."

The Tragedy of Inaction

Well known author and speaker Eric Metaxas continues to call the Church to action in the 21st century, urging people of faith and the Church itself to stand in the public square declaring its beliefs - not just in general, but on ‘hot button’ issues like same-sex ‘marriage’ and abortion.

Church and StateChronicling some of his work, Charisma Magazine writer Joy Allmond, notes, “Before we can take on our role as the church in areas like social justice activism and preserving society, we must be aware of our current freedoms and our position in regard to the state.”

Quoting Metaxas, she continues, “There is a fundamental misunderstanding of the separation of church and state. The church is to be protected from the state. Not the reverse," …"People have divorced faith from public life, mostly because of this misunderstanding.”

Allmond expands on this costly misunderstanding, as she explains,

“We have also confused the terms freedom of worship with freedom of religion. So, what is the difference?

Freedom of religion allows us to take our faith into the public square as we leave our corporate worship settings. “The founders have said that we can and should do that,” adds Metaxas. “That means we can exercise our faith freely in the workplace, or wherever we are.”

Freedom of worship allows us to worship within the confines of the church building. However, that freedom is not valid outside of that church building. Furthermore, that means that whatever views you have on the hot-button social issues, such as abortion or same-sex marriage must be kept within the walls your home or your church building.

“They have freedom of worship in China, and they had it in Germany in the 1930s. Today, that is we have—freedom of worship. So today, we are slowly privatizing our faith because of this great misunderstanding,” says Metaxas. “Once we leave our homes or our churches, we are expected to accept the secular humanist view of everything.” (Read More)

In America people of faith have been blessed with the right to the free exercise of their religion, not just worship.  One day we will be held to account for our stewardship of this blessing.  Let be found to have been faithful – standing for God’s truth not just in our churches but in the public square, the halls of power, and across the back fence with our neighbors.

Standing for Marriage on the College Campus

To hear mainstream media tell it, every 20-something in the United States agrees with same-sex ‘marriage.’  Evidently Christine Guttery did not get the memo.  The 20-year old English major from Louisiana State University recently penned a post for the school’s paper thoughtfully and winsomely defending the traditional definition of marriage.  She writes:

College StudentsI am against same-sex marriage, not because I hate the LGBT community — I don’t. Everyone deserves to be treated with equal respect and kindness, regardless of their sexual orientation. I am against same-sex marriage because same-sex relationships do not adhere to the definition of marriage, and there is no logical reason to redefine it.

The most common argument I hear is that everyone deserves to be happy with the one they love, and government should not deny anyone that right. But opponents of same-sex marriage are not proposing that same-sex couples be banned by law from choosing to have a relationship, but rather that such a union cannot be defined as marriage, because the nature of the union contradicts that of marriage.

College CampusAs the definition of marriage broadens to mean different things and accepts different kinds of relationships, it loses its distinct identity and meaning. In this case, there is no point in recognizing marriage at all.

I am not against homosexuals having rights, but granting same-sex couples the right to marry is erroneous. Redefining marriage will deconstruct its original value. Louisiana should continue to defend the institution of marriage as outlined in the state constitution. (Read More)

It’s great to hear young people, especially on the college campus, carrying the banner for true marriage.

"As Close to an Ideal Test as We've Seen"

Over at Public Discourse, Professor Mark Regnerus reports on the important new study from Canada which we told you about yesterday.

Regnerus shares his opinions on the research by Douglas Allen published in the Review of the Economics of the Household last week:

FamilyEvery study has its limitations, and this one does too.... [but] its limitations are modest in comparison to its remarkable and unique strengths—a rigorous and thorough analysis of a massive, nationally-representative dataset from a country whose government has long affirmed same-sex couples and parenting. It is as close to an ideal test as we’ve seen yet.

The study’s publication continues the emergence of new, population-based research in this domain, much of which has undermined scholarly and popular claims about equivalence between same-sex and opposite-sex households echoed by activists and reflected in recent legal proceedings about same-sex marriage.

Read Professor Regnerus' full piece here.

"The Vocation to Form One Flesh"

From LifeSiteNews.com:

Pope FrancisPope Francis urged youth today to have the “courage” to get married and have children despite a culture that emphasizes “individual rights” over family.

The pope made the remarks in Assisi during an energetic question and answer session with a number of young people.

[...]

The pope pointed out that marriage is a "real vocation, just like priesthood and religious life are. Two Christians who marry each other have recognized in their love story the Lord's call, the vocation to form one flesh, one life from the two, male and female" [emphasis added].

Read more here.

Thou Shall Compromise Thy Faith

Despite the fact that the Washington State Constitution reads:

SECTION 11 RELIGIOUS FREEDOM. Absolute freedom of conscience in all matters of religious sentiment, belief and worship, shall be guaranteed to every individual, and no one shall be molested or disturbed in person or property on account of religion;

Religious FreedomThat state continues to be at the forefront of sanctioning people of faith when it comes to same-sex marriage.  First the State sued a Christian florist, and now it has admonished a judge for simply saying he would not perform same-sex weddings due to his religious beliefs.

OLYMPIA, Wash. — A Thurston County Superior Court judge has been formally admonished for saying he wouldn’t perform gay marriages.

Judge Gary Tabor first made the comments during an administrative meeting shortly before Washington’s gay marriage law took effect late last year. He told colleagues he wasn’t comfortable performing same-sex weddings and asked if other judges would do it in his stead. (Read More)

So we ask, “What does ‘Absolute freedom of conscience in all matters of religious sentiment…’actually mean in Washington State?”

Flock to the Capitol

“If same-sex “marriage” becomes the law in Illinois, the ramifications for our children will be disastrous.  We cannot afford to sit on the sidelines.” Illinois Family Institute

Even while NOM battles on the national stage with the IRS, the battle to protect marriage in Illinois continues on.  Our friends at the Illinois Family Institute are calling all marriage champions from all over Illinois to “Flock to the Capitol” on October 23rd for the Defend Marriage Lobby Day.

Defend Marriage Lobby DayCHILDREN will be taught implicitly and explicitly that mothers and fathers are interchangeable and that mothers or fathers are expendable…

CHILDREN need, deserve, and have a right to both a mother and a father. Social science research consistently demonstrates that children with both a mother and father fare better than do motherless or fatherless children. Mothers and fathers bring critical and different components to child-rearing. Purposely placing children in fatherless or motherless homes is tragic and will have negative consequences for future generations. Most societal ills can be traced to the breakdown of the natural family. Redefining family and marriage to include two people of the same sex will only further weaken marriage, family, and ultimately society.

They’ve even produced a 2-minute video for you to show in your church promoting this important day.

They're also helping to arrange buses to Springfield from across the region.  We encourage you to take the time on October 23rd to stand for marriage in Springfield, Illinois.

All to Play for in the Garden State

Things are moving fast in New Jersey – the legislature continues to move towards attempting to override Governor Christie’s veto of same-sex ‘marriage,’ while the Courts recently ruled – in a very faulty and activist ruling – that New Jersey must start allowing same-sex ‘marriages’ to begin by October 21st.

New JerseyThis week Governor Christie reiterated his position that the definition of marriage should be left to the people and at the same time appealed the Court’s ruling and asked for a stay while the appeal is considered.

Finally today, a new, pro-marriage coalition – New Jersey Coalition to Preserve and Protect Marriage – held a press conference to announce itself and its plans for defending marriage and religious liberties in New Jersey.

Among their points are letting the people vote on marriage and challenging the legislature to take whatever action it is planning BEFORE the November elections so the voters will know where their representatives stand when they go to the polls in November.

"Where's NOM?" We're Right Here Where We've Always Been

Serial, frivolous case-filer and NOM obsessive Fred Karger had a question for me yesterday on Twitter:

So I replied:

The story to which Karger is referring is indeed a testament to how religious liberty works - and Fred's being miffed about it is an ominous indication of what would happen to religious congregations such as this one, which have the right to hire and fire their own clergy personnel, if Karger and other same-sex 'marriage' activists had their way. No doubt he would rather see the government step in and deny this congregation its first amendment rights with respect to religion, and force them to keep employing a pastor who is at odds with the congregation's beliefs. But that kind of anti-religious tyranny, which is a part of the ideal same-sex marriage regime, is precisely what we here at NOM are working against - so this story (or rather, the backlash to it) serves as a useful cautionary tale. Thanks for the news tip, Fred!

Undoing the Myth of Inevitability

Kellie Fiedorek at the Alliance Defending Freedom has a great piece in American Thinker this morning as to why states’ laws and constitutional amendments defining marriage as one man and one woman are completely constitutional and should not be overturned by the US Supreme Court despite efforts by those who would redefine marriage.  She writes…

Myth of InevitabilityProponents of redefining marriage again have set their sights on the U.S. Supreme Court to force a new definition of marriage on every state in the country -- this time by 2015…
But the problem for those behind this plan is that the state marriage laws they are challenging do not violate the Constitution.  Maintaining the gendered definition of marriage that these states have always known falls squarely into what both the Constitution and U.S. Supreme Court precedent approve…
Some assume that the Supreme Court found a new right to same-sex marriage when it issued the Windsor decision at the end of June, but nothing could be farther from the truth.

Read more here.

This is an important piece that all marriage champions should read and share as we work to win the battle in the court of public opinion.  The redefinition of marriage is not inevitable.

60% of Children Still Live with Married Parents

Mainstream media would have you believe that the traditional family is no longer “normal.” In fact, just watching television you see shows like “Modern Family” and “The New Normal.” Everywhere you turn media and pop culture push the lie that true marriage and family is becoming extinct.

FF-chartWell we know that’s not true and a recent report by familyfact.org paints a much more optimistic picture. Fully two-thirds of children live in a married home, and 60% of them live with their married biological or adoptive parents.

Not only does this common sense good news put the lie to what mainstream media and gay ‘marriage’ activists wish you to believe about our culture, but it also points to healthy children in the future. It is telling that the source for the report is the US Census Bureau’s Current Population Survey and America’s Children: Key Indicators of National Well-Being *[emphasis added]. Even the US Census Bureau knows that the family structure a child grows up in is an indicator of their future *well-being.

The data also gives hope because 60% of America’s children are growing up in Family Structures that researcher Mark Regnerus identified as the ideal places for children to develop. His 2012 “Family Structures Study” showed definitively that children who are raised with their married biological parents do best on a host of important indicators of health and general well-being. Close second to the Intact Biological Family were adoptive families.

So there’s hope for our kids. The “New Normal” does not exist. America still believes in the importance of marriage, moms and dads, and raising the next generation.

Judge Orders Pennsylvania Clerks to Obey State Marriage Law

County clerks have no authority to make up their own laws, or decide which they will/will not abide by. A Pennsylvania judge confirmed this yesterday by ordering Montgomery County clerks to desist from illegally issuing marriage licenses to same-sex couples (174 had been issued in total).

As our president Brian Brown noted yesterday, Governor Corbett took great leadership on this issue to uphold the law in Montgomery County and stop the potential spread of rogue actions. The question now is whether the governor will be able to have these ‘licenses’ declared invalid and also use his office to push for a vote of the people. Please urge Gov. Corbett to take this crucial step to protect against confusion and lawsuits in the future that may jeopardize marriage in Pennsylvania.

Gavel in Motion

Reuters:

The state's Health Department sued Montgomery County Register of Wills D. Bruce Hanes in August after he began issuing marriage licenses to same-sex couples, following the U.S. Supreme Court's June ruling that the federal government must recognize same-sex unions in states where they are legal.

"A clerk of courts has not been given the discretion to decide that a law ... he or she is charged to enforce is a good idea or bad one, constitutional or not," Pennsylvania Commonwealth Court President Judge Dan Pellegrini wrote in an opinion issued on Thursday. "Only courts have the power to make that decision."

"The key question in this case has been whether any local official, anywhere in Pennsylvania, has the ability to decide which laws to uphold and which laws to reject based on their own personal legal opinion," [Pennsylvania General Counsel James] Schultz said.

Regardless of personal beliefs, ALL elected officials are trusted to respect the rule of law. If the state they represent protects marriage as the union of husband and wife, acknowledging and enforcing that law is their job.

 

What is the Core of Marriage?

"Probably the most important thing to remember about [the marriage] debate is that it is framed in entirely the wrong way." -Sherif Girgis

Sherif Girgis, co-author of What is Marriage?: Man and Woman: A Defense, is a Princeton graduate and Rhodes Scholar. At Australia's Campion College last month, Girgis gave a brilliant talk on the marriage debate, explaining that by framing the marriage debate in terms of “equality” and “freedom,” same-sex marriage advocates completely bypass a foundational question: what is marriage in the first place? For anyone who wants to learn how to more effectively speak about protecting marriage, check out the full video:

'Til Death Do Us Part, or 3 Years, Whichever Comes First

Yesterday we told you about two competing perspectives on marriage – one focused on the desires of adults, the other on the needs and rights of children. In the end we talked about marriage as the social fabric that holds our culture together.

Well today, here’s another set of competing perspectives: Is marriage a permanent commitment or simply a commodity to be tried out on a leasing basis, like a car or an apartment? From the deep south of all places comes the idea of the ‘marriage lease’, as Fox Memphis reports:

WedleaseWhat if marriage was like leasing a car?

After a couple years, you could renew the relationship or just walk away, with no fuss. A Florida lawyer says now might be the time to consider short-term marriages.

In other words: a wed lease.

Read more here.