NOM BLOG

Category Archives: Marriage

Franck: SSM and Religious Freedom, Fundamentally At Odds

In Public Discourse, Prof. Matthew Franck explains why we can't protect religious liberty via exemptions from laws that redefine marriage:

Bride and Groom in Church Wedding"In recent essays here at Public Discourse, Mark Regnerus argued that same-sex marriage would harm marriage for everyone, and John Smoot argued that it would be bad for children in particular. Today I want to show the damage that redefining marriage does to religious freedom. At bottom, even the defense of religious liberty is a struggle over what is true and false about the meaning of marriage.

Should the truth about marriage--that it unites men and women so that children will have fathers and mothers--be defied by the laws of the land, we cannot expect the religious freedom of those who believe in that ancient truth to be respected under the new dominion of falsehood.

After all, if redefining marriage to include same-sex couples accords with justice and moral truth, there is no good reason for the new legal order to make room for "conscientious" religious dissenters, for clearly their consciences are malformed and unworthy of respect. Thus the fate of religious freedom, for scores of millions of Americans, stands or falls with the fate of conjugal marriage itself..."

NOM's Peters to CBS: Social Conservatives are Leading the Movement

Our Communications Director Thomas Peters was interviewed by CBS News on the place of the conservative movement within the Republican party and who is shaping the future of the party:

Thomas Peters"...Peters didn't buy the argument that Republicans are losing younger voters on same-sex marriage: "I don't see that."

He derided those who would advise Republican candidates to soften their stance on social issues to attract new voters. "A lot of GOP political consultants make this claim, but their candidates lose," he said. "Republicans should stop apologizing for their pro-marriage views."

Peters reserved particularly strong words for Sen. Rob Portman, R-Ohio, who has come out in favor of same-sex marriage, saying the prospect of NOM supporting a primary challenger to Portman during his next election is "absolutely on the table."

On their broader place in the Republican Party, Peters said social conservatives "are not boots on the ground, they're leading the movement."

... Peters voiced no concern about Christie's devotion to the anti-same-sex marriage movement, noting the governor "vetoed a gay marriage bill and has promised to do it again."

And whoever claims the 2016 Republican presidential nomination, Peters said, would "absolutely have to reflect the Republican position on protecting marriage."

Wilcox in The Atlantic: The Distinct, Positive Impact of a Good Dad

Dads matter. So argues Prof. Brad Wilcox in The Atlantic:

Father and SonI understand where Jennifer Aniston is coming from. Like many of her peers in Hollywood, not to mention scholars and writers opining on fatherhood these days, she has come to the conclusion that dads are dispensable: "Women are realizing it more and more knowing that they don't have to settle with a man just to have that child," she said at a press conference a few years ago.

Her perspective has a lot of intuitive appeal in an era where millions of women have children outside of marriage, serve as breadwinner moms to their families, or are raising children on their own. Dads certainly seem dispensable in today's world.

What this view overlooks, however, is a growing body of research suggesting that men bring much more to the parenting enterprise than money, especially today, when many fathers are highly involved in the warp and woof of childrearing. As Yale psychiatrist Kyle Pruett put it in Salon: "fathers don't mother."

Pruett's argument is that fathers often engage their children in ways that differ from the ways in which mothers engage their children. Yes, there are exceptions, and, yes, parents also engage their children in ways that are not specifically gendered. But there are at least four ways, spelled out in my new book, Gender and Parenthood: Biological and Social Scientific Perspectives (co-edited withKathleen Kovner Kline), that today's dads tend to make distinctive contributions to their children's lives... (The Atlantic)

Deborah Savage: What Is a Mother to Do? Questions for SSM Advocates

Deborah Savage, professor of philosophy and pastoral ministry in the St. Paul Seminary School of Divinity at the University of St. Thomas, argues in Public Discourse that "to demand that we recognize same-sex romantic relationships as marriages, and teach our children so, is to prevent them from discovering reality":

Mother and Daughter"...I am the mother of a ten-year-old girl, a beautiful child, more precious to me than anything you can imagine. When, on June 1, same-sex marriage became legal in the state of Minnesota, I needed to know what to tell her. How is this supposed to work—actually—in the concrete world of a ten-year-old child and her mother? Her father is wondering too, of course, but he is rather speechless at the moment. And the way it works in our house, though he is really good at protecting her from possible physical threats, it usually falls to me to protect her from the more psychological threats she encounters occasionally in her young life. But this is a new one. So I need some advice.

In the interests of full disclosure, I should state that, as a philosopher, I have gotten fairly skilled at treating the philosophical errors of our age in the classroom setting. But a ten-year-old is at a bit of a disadvantage when it comes to the arguments I have developed against relativism, nominalism, dualism, materialism, and so on. And then of course, parenting comes with its own specific challenges. So I am hoping those who advocate same-sex marriage have given some thought to this, eager as they seem to be to take on the task of parenting themselves."

Anderson in The Blaze: High Stakes as Supreme Court Prepares to Rule on SSM

Ryan Anderson writes in The Blaze:

Silhouettes"...We tend to forget that marriage predates government. Throughout history, diverse cultures and faiths have upheld marriage as the ideal. It is the fundamental building block of all human civilization. Marriage has public purposes that transcend its private purposes.

Marriage is society’s best way to ensure the well-being of children (as I’ve argued at length in this space). State recognition of marriage protects children by encouraging men and women to commit to each other — and to take responsibility for their children.

So it is with good reason that 38 states – not to mention over 90 percent of the countries represented at the United Nations — affirm marriage as the union of a man and a woman, just as diverse cultures and faiths have throughout history.

But whatever any individual American thinks about marriage, the courts shouldn’t be redefining it. Marriage policy should be worked out through the democratic process, not dictated by unelected judges in an activist decision that has no grounding in the text or logic of our Constitution."

This Weekend, Celebrate Dad!

Tomorrow, be sure to celebrate Father's Day -- and the unique role fathers play in society and in raising the next generation.

This month the Supreme Court will rule in two critical cases (Prop 8 and DOMA) that, among other things, will determine whether or not our marriage laws will continue to reflect and honor the unique contributions of fathers (and mothers) to the well-being of children and society.

If you haven't yet, check out this new video which is titled "Celebrate Dad!":

Scottish Catholic Adoption Agency Threatened with Closure Over Marriage Views

LifeSiteNews:

Family on BeachAnother British Catholic adoption agency is being threatened with closure by the government for refusing to toe the government’s line of support for the homosexualist political agenda.

St. Margaret’s Children and Family Care Society, associated with the Catholic archdiocese of Glasgow, has lost a ruling in its argument with the Scottish government’s charity regulator, which is demanding the charity drop its policy of adopting only to mothers and fathers who have been married for at least two years.

The Office of the Scottish Charity Regulator (OSCR) has found St. Margaret’s in violation of the Equality Act 2010, saying that its policy "discriminated unlawfully" against same-sex couples. St. Margaret’s is remaining defiant, however, saying that they will fight the decision.

The Christian Institute campaign group quoted a St. Margaret’s board member saying,  “The ultimate irony is that apparently in the name of tolerance, societies such as Saint Margaret’s are no longer to be tolerated.”

Smoot: Children Need Our Marriage Tradition

John Smoot, a trial court judge of Boston’s Probate and Family Court from 1990 to 2012, currently serves as a mediator at Boston Area Mediation. He writes in the Public Discourse that "Redefining marriage will make it harder for our children to develop their self-understanding and will sanction procreative methods that treat children like commodities":

Kids at Wedding"Chauncey is right; we transformed the “Normal.” We created a “new Normal.” The mantra of the revolution, “If it feels good, do it,” ultimately weakened the institution of marriage with its inherent restraints and responsibilities, ballooned the divorce rate, and brought the number of out-of-wedlock births to 40 percent of all children born in America. All of which translates into poverty, crime, and suffering.

Over the course of twenty-one years as a judge in Boston, I granted thousands of divorces and heard thousands of cases involving children of unmarried parents. Yes, there were adults and children who benefited from divorce just as there were children of single parent families who did fine or excelled. Overall, however, the revolution that encouraged “pleasure, freedom, [and] self-expression” brought an immense amount of pain and misery. Was it bad for everyone? No. Was it bad for millions? Yes.

Social policy and cultural change have an impact on all of us. And clearly, the impact is not always for the good. Now, we are transforming marriage by eliminating its inherent gender distinctions."

New Danish Study of 6.5 Million: Health Benefits of Marriage are Unique to Male-Female Unions

A new study in the Journal of Epidemiology followed 6.5 million Danish persons for nearly 30 years (for a total of 112.5 million person-years) looking at how living arrangements (being single, cohabiting, married, widowed or in a same-sex union) affected their health outcomes.

IJEFrom the official abstract:

"[Hazard Ratios] for overall mortality changed markedly over time, most notably for persons in same-sex marriage. In 2000–2011, opposite-sex married persons (reference, HR = 1) had consistently lower mortality than persons in other marital status categories in women (HRs 1.37–1.89) and men (HRs 1.37–1.66). Mortality was particularly high for same-sex married women (HR = 1.89), notably from suicide (HR = 6.40) and cancer (HR = 1.62), whereas rates for same-sex married men (HR = 1.38) were equal to or lower than those for unmarried, divorced and widowed men. Prior marriages (whether opposite-sex or same-sex) were associated with increased mortality in both women and men (HR = 1.16–1.45 per additional prior marriage)."

The conclusion of the authors:

"Our study provides a detailed account of living arrangements and their associations with mortality over three decades, thus yielding accurate and statistically powerful analyses of public health relevance to countries with marriage and cohabitation patterns comparable to Denmark’s. Of note, mortality among same-sex married men has declined markedly since the mid-1990s and is now at or below that of unmarried, divorced and widowed men, whereas same-sex married women emerge as the group of women with highest and, in recent years, even further increasing mortality."

Commentary from the English Manif blog:

"During 2000 to 2011, Danish male-female married couples were the healthiest and least likely to die at various ages compared with individuals who were unmarried, divorced or widowed. In contrast, same-sex married men in Denmark were no healthier than unmarried men. Same-sex married women had much higher mortality rates than other women, including the ones who were unmarried, divorced or widowed. There was no apparent marriage “benefit” in terms of better health or longer life for these same-sex married women.

While this is just one study that needs to be supplemented by more research, it does suggest that the health benefits of marriage may be unique to the male-female union. Governments may try to legislate a revised version of “marriage,” but they cannot legislate the health and longevity benefits that come from a man marrying a woman."

Anderson, Girgis & George: Protecting Marriage Bans Nothing and Allows Companionship

The authors of What is Marriage? One Man, One Woman, a Defense write in National Review Online that the conjugal view of marriage leaves everyone just as free to pursue companionship:

"...Now then, the supporter of same-sex marriage asks, shall we deny all this [the benefits of marriage] to the thousands of men and women in same-sex relationships?

We shouldn’t, and we don’t. Whether or not these companionate ideals are all equally healthy to seek, all in one bond, and all specifically in marriage, the general desire that animates them — to know and serve one who knows and serves us — is the desire to love. No aim is nobler.

But traditional marriage law denies these companionate ideals to no one. It does not discourage anyone from seeking them. Its more specific view of what makes a marriage can even liberate us for emotional intimacy in other bonds. And even if companionate bonds are impaired if deprived of public status, it does not follow that they require legal status. Remarkably, then, one of the most common and powerfully felt objections to conjugal-marriage policy is also one of the easiest to answer. The law simply has much less to do with this than people commonly suppose. We can unpack this all."

Lopez: Lessons from France on the Myths of SSM

Robert Oscer Lopez writes in the Public Discourse:

Photo Credit: MA Mouterde

Photo Credit: MA Mouterde

"...The French resistance to same-sex marriage has demonstrated that an ostensibly progressive nation that had little issue with homosexuality as a moral question can change its mind, not based on ignorance of reality, but based on knowing more about what same-sex marriage really means. 

... The drop in support for same-sex marriage came with education and broader public debate. As the French knew more gay people individually and learned more about the ramifications of their legalized marriage on the community at large—especially children and poor communities overseas targeted for adoption and surrogacy—they liked the idea of same-sex marriage less and less.

...France proves that no opinion trend on any graph can be taken for granted as perpetual. In the United States we knew this already; we simply weren’t aware that we knew it. We know from the abortion debate that what seems like a steady march of acceptance can actually grind to a halt or reverse.

The Gallup polls on abortion show how unpredictable the trends in opinion can be, for the number of “pro-choice” Americans peaked in 1996 at 56 percent, then declined to 45 percent today, while pro-life opinion gained significant ground, albeit in fits and starts (only 33 percent of Americans were pro-life in 1996, compared to 48 percent today).

If we take a step back and examine how the international LGBT lobby has fought for same-sex marriage, we see that the lobby’s leaders must be equally aware that nothing is inevitable about acceptance of same-sex marriage, regardless of what they say publicly. Rather than patience, haste has characterized their tactics.

National Organization for Marriage Hails New HuffPost Poll Showing National Support for DOMA

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE: June 6, 2013
Contact: Elizabeth Ray or Jen Campbell (703-683-5004)


"The Supreme Court ought to uphold DOMA and uphold Proposition 8 and respect the pro-marriage views of millions of Americans." — Brian Brown, NOM president —

National Organization for Marriage

Washington, D.C. — Brian Brown today hailed the results of a new poll conducted by HuffPost/YouGov showing that 45% of Americans believe the Supreme Court should uphold the Defense of Marriage Act while only 41% believe it should be overturned. The poll also found that more Americans want the federal government to define marriage as between one man and one woman (45%) than want it redefined (43%).

"The pro-marriage position of Americans was evident in this poll despite the fact that it used language and survey methods which would tend to underrepresent Americans with pro-marriage views," Brown said. The survey of 1,000 adults polled May 30-31 was screened to "match the demographics and other characteristics of the U.S. population" and surveyed all adults including those not registered to vote. The survey uses terms such as "forbid" and "legal marriages" which can bias responses. For example, some people might agree to recognize "legal gay marriages" even if they don't support them. Even with these methodological biases the survey still found that more adults want DOMA to be upheld than want it struck down.

Brown continued: "For months and years activists bent on redefining marriage and striking down DOMA have argued that the Supreme Court should issue a sweeping ruling in favor of same-sex marriage because it is inevitable. This poll, and the only poll that matters — the free votes of citizens in over 2/3rds of American states — shows this is not true. The Supreme Court ought to uphold DOMA and uphold Proposition 8 and respect the pro-marriage views of millions of Americans."

"This poll also demonstrates once again that marriage has support in both parties and across all age groups. A higher percentage of Republicans support marriage than Democrats support same-sex marriage. Twenty-four percent of Democrats support marriage. And thirty-seven percent of those under 30 do as well — this all despite immense cultural pressure to abandon their support of marriage. Americans are able to settle important questions like the definition of marriage on their own. The Supreme Court should not take the right to debate and define marriage away from the American people."

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To schedule an interview with Brian Brown, President of the National Organization for Marriage, please contact Elizabeth Ray (x130), eray@crcpublicrelations.com, or Jen Campbell (x145), jcampbell@crcpublicrelations.com, at 703-683-5004.

Leaders of the French Pro-Marriage Movement: We Will Surrender Nothing!

The following speech was given by Ludovine de la Rochère, president of La Manif Pour Tous, the movement opposed to France’s recently passed same-sex marriage law. This speech was delivered at a mass rally on May 26, 2013—France’s Mother’s Day—before hundreds of thousands of supporters.

Here are some highlights but we urge you to read the whole speech here at First Things!

"...We are here, all so numerous, because our fundamental and universal values unite us.

Photo Credit: MA Mouterde

Photo Credit: MA Mouterde

The truth is that we do not have the same notion of equality as our opponents do. Our belief, held by most of the country, rests first on the equality of children, equality before the right to have a father and mother, that is to say, an origin and real heritage, rather than a false heritage. Based on that we have come together as atheists, Christians, Jews, Muslims, right, left, straight, gay. For all, the truth that we owe to the child is sacred. We do not want children’s lives to be woven around lies, nor do we want gender studies ideology to triumph.

Then, as our opponents do not understand us, they refuse to debate us, they mock us, and they libel us.

But this time, it is you who are facing the wind, at the failure of the meaning of history. For we do not search for a false sense of History; rather, we shall write it!

All the generations are here, and among them, fathers and mothers and youths, each one keeping watch over us, over all of France, in silence, peaceful.

Yes, we turn now to face the future: yes, we have faith in the future; yes, we build the future and that is why we protest. We want a better world, rather than a brave new world.

What have we discovered along this long road? We are not alone! We are no longer alone, isolated, considered old fuddy duddies, losers, or conservatives—rather, the others will be revealed as those who live outside of reality.

Yes, France has awoken!"

Chicago Reporter: No Momentum in Illinois for SSM

Greg Hinz on the manufactured effort to create momentum for gay marriage in Illinois failing:

2013-05-31 Illinois FB, Keep up Pressure"On gay marriage: Despite lots of brave talk and another plug last night by President Barack Obama, the bill to allow same-sex marriage in Illinois reportedly is short two or three votes, with stiff opposition among many African-American lawmakers." (Craig's Chicago Business On Politics blog)

Please keep up the pressure with your calls!

And if you live near Springfield, please come right away to an urgent rally to defend marriage at the Illinois State Capitol Rotunda. Our supporters and allies are gathering there at 10AM and will be there throughout the day. Thank you!

African American Clergy Coalition to Governor Quinn: Don't Engage in Legislative Bribery to Push SSM!

The African American Clergy Coalition, which is opposing SB 10 in Illinois (a bill to redefine marriage) just issued this media advisory:

AFRICAN AMERICAN CLERGY COALITION MAKES APPEAL TO GOVERNOR QUINN TO NOT ENGAGE IN LEGISLATIVE BRIBERY ON SAME SEX BILL

AN UNNAMED LEGISLATOR INFORMS AACC THAT MEMBERS HAVE BEEN OFFERED BRIDGES AND EXTENSION OF EXPRESSWAYS IN RETURN FOR A YES VOTE ON SB10

Leaders of the African American Clergy Coalition (AACC) today are appealing to Governor Pat Quinn to refrain from offering pork projects to legislators in return for a “yes” vote on SB 10. This comes after unnamed legislators informed the AACC of legislative bribery tactics being used by staff members of Governor Quinn’s office to lobby legislators. Specifically according to one legislator, a bridge and an extension of an expressway was assured in exchange for a “yes” vote on SB 10.

“This particular vote on SB 10 is too important to many African American throughout the state of Illinois would want to protect and defend traditional marriage. We are the same African Americans who Governor Quinn leaned on heavily for his election victory in 2010. And we will be the same community that will now take a closer look at him in 2014. Governor, we appeal to you to not interfere or compromise the integrity of the legislative process, says Bishop Lance L. Davis, Co- Chairman of the African American Clergy Coalition.

PastorOn Yesterday, the AACC responded to recent statements by the sponsor of same-sex marriage (SB10), State Representative Greg Harris. The AACC viewed Harris’s claim of having already secured 60 votes for passage as both fraudulent and an attempt to mislead black legislators regarding the present support for this highly controversial measure. A measure in which has been clearly opposed by the vast majority of African American constituents in their districts.

On Tuesday, May 28th, Representative Harris stated that he picked up the vote of African American legislator, Lashawn Ford, to support same-sex marriage. However, Representative Ford has been considered a “yes” vote all along by every lobbyist dating back three months!

Representative Harris also failed to mention that according to the Capitol Fax, one of the three Republicans supporting the bill has actually changed his position and will now vote ”no.” So instead of gaining a vote yesterday, Harris actually lost a vote for same-sex marriage.

Since December, legislators have been told by LGBT forces that there was tremendous momentum to pass this bill, but that has proven to be incorrect. For five weeks now, legislators were told that “we have the votes to pass the bill and we are calling it this week.” However that also has proven to be incorrect.

With just one day away from the end of the Legislative Session and Representative Harris still lacks the 60 votes necessary to pass SB10. It is important that black legislators not be duped into thinking this bill is going to pass anyway. But it is very clear that it will not pass unless black legislators go against the wishes of the majority of their constituents, and support it.

If you have not contacted your legislator in Springfield yet please do so right away.