NOM BLOG

Category Archives: Children

"What's More Harmful to Kids?"

That's the question asked by blogger Lindy West at Jezebel:

What's more harmful to kids—being awkwardly micromanaged by adults, or being warped by lifetimes of gender normativity?

What is Lindy talking about? Well, news is buzzing this week about Sweden's "gender-neutral" policies after the country officially added its "gender-neutral" pronoun, Hen, to the country's national encyclopedia.  HuffPo explains that bit:

The word is a gender-neutral pronoun that can be applied to objects and people who don't wish to specifically identify as male or female, and it is now an official third pronoun in Swedish.

But Sweden's obsession with gender-neutrality doesn't stop at just semantics. It is exercised even in terms of classroom policies, and at the lowest level. That's what Lindy West is talking about when she asks "what's more harmful to kids?"

Well, read this excerpt from a Slate article, and you decide for yourself what seems more harmful!

[I]n the effort to free Swedish children from so-called normative behavior, gender-neutral proponents are also subjecting them to a whole set of new rules and new norms as certain forms of play become taboo, language becomes regulated, and children's interactions and attitudes are closely observed by teachers. One Swedish school got rid of its toy cars because boys "gender-coded" them and ascribed the cars higher status than other toys. Another preschool removed "free playtime" from its schedule because, as a pedagogue at the school put it, when children play freely "stereotypical gender patterns are born and cemented. In free play there is hierarchy, exclusion, and the seed to bullying." And so every detail of children's interactions gets micromanaged by concerned adults, who end up problematizing minute aspects of children's lives, from how they form friendships to what games they play and what songs they sing.

Lindy West seems to think that this "problematizing minute aspects of children's lives" is preferable to them "being warped by lifetimes of gender normativity"; but it seems to us that when "free playtime" is removed from a school schedule in order to prevent boys from being boys and girls from being girls, it is just another example of the selfish preferences of adults being allowed to supersede the rights of children. And unfortunately, that remains one of the hallmarks of the marriage redefinition movement.

“He is a Boy”

Yesterday at Public Discourse, Anthony Esolen published a stirring piece entitled “A Boy’s Life with Unisex Scouts.” The piece brilliantly brings out the essential differences and complementarity of the sexes, so important to the institution of marriage:

The sex of a human being is marked in the voice, the hair, the shape of the face, the thickness of the bones, the contours of the torso, the quality of the skin, everywhere. A friend of the same sex is an image of myself, an alter ego. He echoes my voice.

But the spouse is no alter ego. The spouse complements my voice. The man to the woman and the woman to the man are suggestions on earth of the totaliter aliter, the wholly other.

Be sure to read the rest of this evocative essay!

California Considers Mandated Insurance for "Gay Infertility"

Ben Shapiro writes at TownHall:

This week, Wesley Smith of the Weekly Standard reported that California would be considering AB 460, a bill that would mandate group insurance coverage for so-called gay and lesbian "infertility." What in the world does that bizarre phrase mean? It doesn't mean situations in which two members of a lesbian couple are both infertile and incapable of conception using some third party's sperm. It doesn't mean situations in which two gay men are both infertile and incapable of impregnating a surrogate mother. It means situations in which gay or lesbian couples can't make a baby by having sex with each other.

In other words, every single gay and lesbian couple on the planet.

The way the law works, gay and lesbian couples would simply have to testify that they have been having sex for a year without producing a child to be considered "infertile," which is idiotic, since baby-making requires necessary components missing in homosexual activity. But nature is irrelevant here. Even though both men and women were, to borrow Lady Gaga's phrase, "born this way," political correctness trumps nature.

Anti-Bullying Presentation Forces Middle School Girls to Ask for Same-Sex Kiss

BEFORE marriage is redefined, we're always told these things will never happen. Yet this seems to be what always happens.

A recent anti-bullying presentation at a middle school in New York that focused on homosexuality and gender identity has angered parents after their daughters have come home to tell them they were forced to ask another girl for a kiss.

During the workshop for girls, the 13 and 14-year-olds were told to ask one another for a kiss. They were also taught words such as “pansexual” and “genderqueer.”

Parent Mandy Coon told reporters that her daughter was very uncomfortable with the exercise. “She told me, ‘Mom, we all get teased and picked on enough; now I’m going to be called a lesbian because I had to ask another girl if I could kiss her,’” she lamented. “They also picked two girls to stand in front of the class and pretend they were lesbians on a date.”

Coon stated that she was especially irate over the matter because parents were given no warning about the presentations, nor an opportunity to opt out. She is also dismayed that college students were granted the right to come into the classroom and encourage her daughter to be sexually active.  -Christian News Network

NPR: 'Severing Love From Diapers': The Other Case Against Gay Marriage

National Public Radio discovers the secular arguments against SSM -- a good thing!:

Gay marriage opponents say they're protecting women and children first.

When the Supreme Court hears oral arguments about same-sex marriage next week, much of the debate will turn on legal questions surrounding issues such as federalism and due process.

But the underlying questions are more emotional, with moral objections frequently raised by members of the faith community.

"I believe marriage will be between a man and a woman," says Ruben Diaz, a minister in the Church of God and a Democratic state senator from New York who plans to demonstrate outside the court next week. "It's as simple as that."

But there are secular arguments against gay marriage, as well. Its opponents believe that redefining marriage to allow two men or two women to wed each other will weaken an institution set up across centuries and societies to protect women when they are pregnant and ensure that children's fathers take responsibility for them.

"If the law redefines marriage to say that fathers are optional, then it's hard to make the argument that fathers are essential," says Ryan T. Anderson, a fellow at the conservative Heritage Foundation.

...Allowing gay couples to marry, he says, weakens the power of marriage as a coercive force for procreating couples. And gays can secure the rights they need, such as hospital visitations and inheritance issues, through other changes in the law, Anderson says.

"Marriage doesn't have to do all of the work we need to do to do good public policy," he adds.

Stanton: Pediatrics Association’s Support for SSM Rooted in Activism

Glenn Stanton at CitizenLink:

The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) has issued what appears to be a politically motivated statement suggesting that children raised by same-sex parents do just fine. In fact, the AAP goes so far as to suggest that children are more affected by the health of the relationship between the people raising them than by whether they are being raised by their own mother and father.

...To be clear, this recent announcement is not science, but propaganda rooted in social activism regarding the family, which is the foundational unit of humanity. That such a credentialed and well-known organization would play politics with this issue should grieve all of those who are committed to the integrity of science when it comes to the future of our children. Their well-being and health is far too important an issue to play politics with, especially of such a radical nature.

The AAP would be well-advised to stick to what the reliable and time-tested body of research tells us about what kinds of families promote the robust array of child-health: a family where children are raised by their mother and father who are in the midst of a healthy marriage.

NOM's Peters: Kids are Central to the Marriage Debate

NOM's Thomas Peters spoke with NPR this week explaining the central role children must have in the marriage debate:

Surveys suggest that kids younger than 18 in same-sex families still number fewer than a quarter-million.

"It's a fraction of a fraction of a fraction of a percent," says Thomas Peters of the National Organization for Marriage, a leading group opposing same-sex marriage.

"The difference is that children raised by gay parents are very much in the media's eye," he says. "We see it on Modern Family. We see this hugely blown out of proportion. It's why, by the way, in Gallup [polls], Americans believe that a third to a fourth of Americans are gay."

In fact, studies estimate that it's more like 3 percent to 4 percent. And Peters argues that the media image of gay marriage's impact is misleading. [...]

...Still, children are making their own heartfelt case.

Eleven-year-old Grace Evans, with her long hair in a braid, testified this month as Minnesota lawmakers considered legalizing same-sex marriage.

"I want to ask you this question: Which parent do I not need — my mom or my dad?" she said. She looked up from her paper to a long silence.

And a teen who testified against gay marriage in Maryland last year received online death threats. But Peters says kids are central to this debate.

"As long as the marriage conversation remains focused on, generationally, what's best for children, I think America will find the right way forward," he says.

American College of Pediatricians: Traditional Family Best for Kids

A statement by the American College of Pediatricians in response to the AAP:

“The American College of Pediatricians reaffirms that the intact, functional family consisting of a married (female) mother and (male) father provides the best opportunity for children. The College, therefore, disputes the American Academy of Pediatrics’ (AAP) claim that supporting same-sex unions promotes the “well-being of children.” In its newly released statement, “Promoting the Well-Being of Children Whose Parents Are Gay or Lesbian,” the AAP ignores important research on risks to children in favor of the wants of adults.

“The College does not support the alteration of this time-honored and proven standard to conform to pressures from “politically correct” groups. No one concerned with the well-being of children can reasonably ignore the evidence for maintaining the current standard, nor can they or we ignore the equally strong evidence that harm to children can result if the current standards are rejected,” says Den Trumbull, MD, President of the American College of Pediatricians.  “The AAP ignores generations of evidence of health risks to children in advocating for the legality and legitimacy of same-sex marriage and child-rearing.”

Regnerus on AAP: We Should be Skeptic About Denying Children Their Right to a Mother and Father

Mark Regnerus reacts to the news of the AAP's political decision to endorse SSM:

I’m neither surprised at the statement by the American Academy of Pediatrics endorsing gay marriage nor at its timing. Whether the statement adequately captures the consensus of pediatricians across the country is, of course, unknown. The report points out the strengths and weaknesses of the social science in this area, and notes correctly that causal arguments here are very difficult to make. The science on same-sex parenting remains comparatively new, unable to keep up with political and legal developments. But those few population-based studies that exist — that map what’s going on across the country — seem to foster skepticism about moving quickly or universally to deny children their right to a mom and a dad. It’s not a popular position, of course. In the end, we all want children to thrive. Many organizations and scholars assert that same-sex marriage is a step toward that end, ensuring household stability. Others remain skeptical, and wonder whether this isn’t more about parents’ wishes than those of children.

Minnesota SSM Bill Would Make "Mother" and "Father" Gender-Neutral Terms

Katherine Kersten writes in the Star Tribune that "even concepts like 'mother,' 'father' are threatened by the activist onslaught:

"...a look at SF925 reveals that something much more insidious than advocates let on is underway. This bill would strip the words “mother” and “father” of meaning under Minnesota law. Henceforth, the bill states, these words — among the most beloved and culturally freighted in the English language — “must be construed in a neutral manner to refer to a person of either gender.”

Of course, “mother” and “father” aren’t “gender-neutral” words. That’s a fiction. All Minnesotans have a mother and a father — female and male, respectively. Our state’s legislators may view themselves as powerful, but they can’t repeal this fact of human biology. Yet same-sex marriage advocates must pretend this is possible, if they are to convince the rest of us that a “union” of two people of the same sex is identical to that of a man and woman whose sexual complementarity is the only thing that produces the next generation.

This stripping of meaning from “mother” and “father” is just one signal of the tectonic shift our society will undergo if we try to redefine marriage in a way that portrays the anatomical, social and psychological differences between men and women as irrelevant to human life — just as shoe size and eye color are. We urgently need a conversation at the State Capitol that grapples seriously with the unknown implications of such a step — as they unfold next year and 50 years from now.

Legislators should begin by considering why marriage has been a male/female institution throughout recorded history. Is it really because people in the past weren’t as smart as we are, or were “bigots?” Of course not. It’s because marriage has a vital public purpose: It binds fathers to mothers and the children their sexual union creates. This bond is crucial to children’s well-being — and to society’s future."

If you have not yet contacted your representative and senator, please do so today!

CNSNews: DOJ Says Children Do Not Need—and Have No Right to--Mothers

CNSNews.com:

The Obama Justice Department is arguing in the United States Supreme Court that children do not need mothers.

The Justice Department’s argument on the superfluity of motherhood is presented in a brief the Obama administration filed in the case of Hollingsworth v. Perry, which challenges the constitutionality of Proposition 8, the California ballot initiative that amended California’s Constitution to say that marriage involves only one man and one woman.

The Justice Department presented its conclusions about parenthood in rebutting an argument made by proponents of Proposition 8 that the traditional two-parent family, led by both a mother and a father, was the ideal place, determined even by nature itself, to raise a child.

The Obama administration argues this is not true. It argues that children need neither a father nor a mother and that having two fathers or two mothers is just as good as having one of each.

LDS Professor: Gay Marriage Debate Should Focus on Children

Jenet Jacob Erickson teaches in the School of Family Life at Brigham Young University at writes in Deseret News:

"...What is conspicuously absent from the "civil rights" argument for gay marriage is an appreciation for the rights of children. Marriage exists to ensure children's rights to be reared, as much as possible, by both their father and mother. We privilege marriage not, primarily, to nurture adults who love each other. We privilege marriage to nurture the children who come from the relationship of a mother and father. Thus, marriage is not merely about spousal rights. It is also, if not primarily, about parental and societal responsibilities to children. Marriage advocate Maggie Gallagher puts it simply. Why does marriage matter? To create a bond strong enough that "a child's heart can rely upon it."

... Proponents of gay marriage often call it the "civil rights issue of our day." Past civil rights' movements gave voice to those excluded from the public sphere. Until the debate over gay marriage includes genuine concern for the rights of children—the most vulnerable and voiceless in our society—the true civil rights issue of our day will remain undefended."

Anthony Bradley: Black Marriage Matters

Anthony Bradley, professor of theology at the King's College in New York City, writes in PowerBlog:

Brittney C. Cooper, Assistant professor of Women’s and Gender studies and Africana Studies at Rutgers University, writes at Ebony Magazine.com that President Obama is being unfair to the black community by pointing out that many of the violence-related pathologies in inner cities are a result of fatherlessness.

... It is certainly true that economic stress may tempt people to commit crimes. The Bible is clear about that possibility (Prov 30:8). However, Cooper closes out her objection to Obama by saying something that makes no sense: “The challenges facing Black folks in Chicago are myriad, but they have little to do with the decrease in marriage rates.”

What? The problem with Cooper’s objection to President Obama’s claim is that it has no basis in fact or reason. Black marriage rates have actually been associated with a host of social ills in the black community. Cooper could not be more incorrect about the facts. For example, in The Consequences of Marriage for African Americans by Lorraine Blackman of Indiana University, Obie Clayton of Morehouse College, Norval Glenn of the University of Texas at Austin, Linda Malone-Colon of Hampton University and the National Healthy Marriage Resource Center, and Alex Roberts of the Institute for American Values, all find that the data tells a different story: Black marriage matters.

... While it may be true that some unwed fathers are involved in the lives on their children, President Obama is right to point out the marriage effect. To say that the breakdown in the black community is not associated with the decline in marriage rates is to deny the facts and ignore the importance of one of the most important institutions in human society.

Dr. Christensen in Journal of Public Policy: Mark Regnerus Gets it Right

Reprinted from The Family in America: A Journal of Public Policy:

Although the American Psychological Association (APA) boasts scholarly objectivity, the social-science guild has for years conducted studies that generate the results—from the alleged benefits of the “good” divorce to the virtues of homosexuality—that progressive activists’ itching ears want to hear. Consequently, it often falls to one brave solider to challenge the groupthink.

Indeed, Mark Regnerus of the University of Texas has done exactly that, conducting the first methodologically rigorous study of homosexual parenting, the latest cause of American elites. Exposing the discredited studies hailed by the APA, the sociologist establishes that children raised by homosexual parents—like all children raised by anything but a married mother and father—suffer risks that should not be overlooked or minimized.

Unique to Regnerus’s study is the data source: his New Family Structures Study, a new research instrument that yielded a data sample of 2,988 randomly selected Americans between the ages 18 to 39, including 175 adults with lesbian mothers and 73 with homosexual fathers. The cross-sectional study queried respondents about their social and economic behaviors, health behaviors, family of origin, and current relationships. Based upon their answers, the lone Texan quantified how the 248 adult children who reported parental homosexual behavior prior to age 18 differed from their peers from six other family-of-origin types.

Oklahoma Introduces Bills Aimed at Keeping Married Couples Together

FOX25:

"..."Till death do us part... not till difficulties do us part," says State Sen. Josh Brecheen, R- Coal County. He's going after the number one reason Oklahomans are filing for divorce-- incompatibility. In his proposed bill, Oklahomans would have the option of choosing a "covenant marriage."

"When they choose the option of a covenant marriage, they will go through four hours of premarital counseling," says Sen. Brecheen. If you want a divorce from a covenant marriage, you and your spouse would be required to take six hours of counseling, spread out over a three-month period. "We're not saying they can't get a divorce. We're saying we're going to slow down the process and make it much more thoughtful," he adds. But, that's not all. If you still don't want to stay together after three months of counseling, you would have a one-year "cooling off" period, before you could be eligible for divorce. "This is light. Other states require two years in a cooling off period. This bill just says one," says Sen. Brecheen.

"My heart really goes to the kids," says State Sen. Rob Standridge, R-Norman. He says marriage in Oklahoma is easier to get out of than a Tupperware container, so he's also proposed a marriage bill. "My legislation would require 30-minutes of education," says Sen. Standridge. Under his bill, if you have children, a divorce would first require a 30-minutes pre-divorce education class to be taken individually, plus a four-hour post-divorce co-parenting class. "It's mainly about making sure the parents get along and that the children have the best co-parenting environment that they can have," says Sen. Standridge.