Dear Marriage Supporter,
Recently, I came across a news story about a relatively new company called Modamily. The name is a mash-up of the words "modern" and "family" and, according to the organization's website, this is its mission:
Modamily provides a network where members can meet other like-minded people who dream of becoming a parent. There are many ways to become a parent, and what Modamily does is help our members find someone that wants to raise a child in a similar fashion as they do.
The journalist doing the report calls Modamily "a dating site that cuts straight to the divorce."
Don't We Already Have Good Pizza?
The website promotes "co-parenting" as an alternative to the "old" way of parenting (which involves falling in love with someone and cooperating with that person to create a child).
The FAQ on the site goes to some trouble to dispel any notions of this "new" model not living up to the old standard:
[Question:] If people find a good parent match on Modamily - why just have a baby together and not also start a relationship?
[Answer:] The desire to become a parent is why men and women use Modamily, but there is nothing preventing the development of a relationship. Our primary goal is to create a community for great potential parents that removes the stress and pressures associated with feeling that in order to be a parent one must find a spouse first.
The man behind this new movement is Ivan Fatovic, who says that his work amounts to "helping people fulfill their dream of becoming a parent on their own terms" [emphasis added]. He says he thinks that "co-parenting" is "the next big thing."
[Somewhat ironically, in the same interview, Mr. Fatovic was asked, "What is the worst business idea you've heard?" His reply? "That someone decided to open another pizza or hamburger shop in NYC. We already have good pizza." But couldn't one also suggest that we already had good parenting before he decided to reinvent that old staple?]
Tellingly, this is how Modamily answers a frequently-asked-question about its clientele make-up:
Single men and women, gay or straight, wanting to co-parent
Gay male couples wishing to find an egg donor for a surrogacy arrangement, or a known donor who will also be involved in the child's life
Lesbian couples looking for a sperm donor — this may be an anonymous or known sperm donor who could be part of their child's life
Men wishing to donate their sperm
Women wishing to donate their eggs
Women wishing to be surrogates
Men and Women looking for medical and legal information on how to become co-parents
This makes it crystal clear: Modamily isn't about helping those who have trouble conceiving become parents, even if perhaps through unconventional means.
No. Modamily is about changing the very notion and identity of parenthood. One specialist quoted in the news story hits the nail right on the head:
Dr. Robert Fellmeth, executive director of the Children's Advocacy Institute, said there's a reason for doing things the old-fashioned way.
"I'm a 19th century romantic in saying that there is an advantage in at least trying to have the relationship between the parent[s] that's deep and meaningful and goes beyond simply the mutual desire to have a child," he said.
"The child benefits from having two parents who love each other, who are willing to sacrifice for each other," he said. "If it fails, it fails, but at least try!"
Well, with all due respect to Dr. Fellmeth, I don't think there's anything very "19th century" about the notion of spousal love blossoming into the bearing and raising of children. Like good pizza that doesn't need reinventing, this model works just as well in our own century just as it has in every century past. Indeed, I believe the beautiful triadic model of mother-father-child is a very 21st century idea!
And I know I'm not alone.
The Foundations of a Stable Country
In Taiwan, over the weekend, hundreds of thousands poured into the streets to demonstrate in favor of "Civil Law 972" which is the country's statute that defines marriage as the union of one man and one woman.
The demonstrations come in response to a proposed bill to amend the text of Law 972 and strike the words "man" and "woman" so as to effectively render marriage a genderless institution.
Leaders of both the leading political party in Taiwan as well as an opposition party voiced opposition to the hasty proposal:
President of the Control Yuan party, Wang Chien-shien, marched with the protesters, saying that while he has "respect and support for all homosexual people," he fears that amending the marriage laws will "affect the healthy marriage system and healthy families, which are the foundations of a stable country," reported The China Post.
The ruling Kuomintang party (KMT) urged in a Nov. 29 press conference for a postponement in the review of the amendment.
"The KMT do not oppose gays or lesbians and we want to treat them legally and protect their human rights as well. But we need to be more careful when it comes to our traditional virtues that concern our families," said KMT spokesperson Lin Te-fu, reported Want China Times.
So much for the myth of shifting tides of public opinion regarding the definition of marriage. And what about that other myth, the one that says a same-sex 'marriage' regime is 'inevitable'?
In the Name of the Family
Nearly 6,000 miles from Taiwan, the people of Croatia also did something remarkable to preserve marriage. In Croatia, a group called "In the Name of the Family" led an initiative to place a pro-marriage ballot measure before the voters of the small Balkan nation.
Croats went to the polls on Sunday and voted overwhelmingly in favor of marriage as the union of one man and one woman, with the measure gaining 66% of the popular vote!
One of the supporters of the initiative, a ballet dancer named Sanja Grgic, beautifully explained the rationale behind the measure: "I have nothing against gay people, I have many gay friends," she said, "but I voted in favour because I think children should grow up in a family that has a mother and a father" [SOURCE].
Kudos to Croatia!
Supporter, be encouraged by this news and remember that the redefinition of marriage and family to become genderless institutions is not at all inevitable, and it certainly hasn't carried public opinion away in any kind of landside.
On our side we have basic truth and common sense and fundamental good. We have, if you will, just plain old good pizza. Something that has stood the test of time and just plain works.
The founder of Modamily thinks opening up a new pizza shop is "the worst business idea," but I rather think he needs a clear-headed look in the mirror where he'll be confronted with a much worse idea. No child ever craved a "co-parent." No society ever thrived because of "Modamily." Societies that thrive do so because of real families, with moms and dads loving each other and raising the children produced from that love.
Together, we continue to stand in defense of that plain old good truth.
Brian S. Brown