Major gay rights groups are claiming those who oppose gay marriage are responsible for tragic gay teen suicides. Maggie Gallagher considers the charge in her latest syndicated column:
Do I have blood on my hands?
Major gay rights groups are saying so. Each of us who opposes gay marriage, they say, is responsible for the terrible and tragic suicides of gay teens that recently hit the news. . . .
It's a horrific charge to levy in response to some pretty horrifying stories. Will gay marriage really reduce or prevent gay teen suicide? I felt a moral obligation to find out.
Massachusetts has been tracking gay high school students for a decade using the Center for Disease Control and Prevention's Youth Risk Behavior Survey.
LGBT teens are roughly four times as likely as other students to have attempted suicide in the last year.
They are also about twice as likely to report being in a physical fight at school, three times more likely to say they were injured by a weapon, and almost four times as likely as pther teens to say they missed school because they felt physically unsafe.
These kinds of negative outcomes are consistent with the idea that anti-gay bullying is mainly responsible for the higher suicide rate among gay teens. But as I kept reading, I kept finding the pieces of the puzzle that don't seem to fit the "it's homophobia pulling the trigger" narrative:
Gay students are also more than twice as likely to report having had sexual intercourse before age 13 -- that is, to be sexually abused as children. They are three times as likely to report being the victims of dating violence, and nearly four times as likely to report forced sexual contact. A majority of LGBT teens in Massachusetts reported using illegal drugs in the past month. (Perhaps most oddly, gay teens are also three times as likely as nongay teens to report either becoming pregnant or getting someone else pregnant.)
Forced sex, childhood sexual abuse, dating violence, early unwed pregnancy, substance abuse -- could these be a more important factor in the increased suicide risk of LGBT teens than anything people like me ever said?
The deeper you look, the more you see kids who are generally unprotected in deeply tragic ways that make it hard to believe -- if you are really focusing on these kids' well-being -- that gay marriage is the answer. . . .
And that's exactly what the Youth Risk Behavior data also show: In 2001, gay teens in Massachussetts were almost four times more likely to have attempted suicide (31 percent vs. 8 percent). In 2007 -- after four years of legalized gay marriage in that state -- gay teens were still about four times more likely to attempt suicide than nongay teens (29 percent vs. 6 percent).
Whether you are looking at their faces or looking at the statistics, one thing is clear: These kids need help, real help. They should not become a mere rhetorical strategy, a plaything in our adult battles.
Each of these teens is a child of God. And each one deserves better from all of us that becoming a "teachable moment" in someone else's culture war.
45 Comments
Wow, these idiots are desperate. They know they're fighting a losing battle, so they've resorted to pure unadulterated lies and false accusations against anyone who doesn't agree with their agenda.
It's become blatantly obvious who the real bullies are.
If the claim can be made for teen suicides happen because gay marriage isn’t allowed then there should be a counter claim of the facts of removing prayer from schools and the impacts it’s made which in turn caused the immoral decline of teens.
It sounds to me like these children are desperate for love and acceptance in whatever form they can find it. Are those who oppose gay marriage solely responsible for gay teen suicides. Of course not. Suicide is rarely the result of a single problem. Are those who oppose gay marriage helping those teens in any way though? Again, no.
Telling them they are sinners and perverts who are trying to destroy the sanctity of marriage is in no way solving the problem. If we truly care about what the statistics say these teens have gone through, perhaps our efforts would be better spent helping them than opposing their lifestyle.
Thanks for that Maggie. If this doesn't settle the issue of whether or not homophobia is "pulling the trigger," I dont know what will. Perhaps homophobia triggers the depression that pulls the trigger, but it definitely isn't just marriage discrimination. Maybe it is whitewashed bigotry that enables the bullys who drive the teens to "pull the trigger". I am thinking you are a litte like Pilot trying to wash his hands of responsibility for the death of Jesus Christ.
If SSM acts as a preventative force in teen suicides and teen problems, why all these sad stats in MA, where SSM is legal?
Also, if sexual identity is truly fixed, why are the girls getting pregnant and the boys getting girls pregnant?
I think its important to ask ?s like this in an open society, even more so when guilt for suicides is laid on people who may have had nothing to do with it.
Are we more worried about teens and bullying, or pointing blame before investigating factors?
you people are very very wicked and sick in heart
this is a sinful thing, there is no excuse. wake up and start taking a stand for what is right, then what is wicked Just know this God hates sin and he does know people hearts so you cannot hide your Heart from Him on anything even where you stand on this gay marriage thing.
In what distorted universe could destroying the truth that marriage can only truly exist between a man and a woman ever help these troubled teens? The idea is ludicrous.
Yes, Maggie HAS blood on her hands. Of course she does. So does NOM, Brian Brown, the Ruth Institute and Jennifer Roback Morse. And so does the Mormon Church, and many Christian organizations. So does Carly Fiorina, Carl Paladino and al.
Yep. Pretty horrifying charges. For pretty horrifying individuals. It's high time people be held accountable for the hate they propagate. Freedom of religion DOES NOT mean freedom to hate.
It's time NOM and others realize that their positions are on the fringe of society. They do not represent what educated Americans think about homosexuality and gay marriage. Homophobia is NOT the norm. It's not normal: it's not the way to go. And it's certainly NOT cool. People are waking up to your disgusting views, Maggie.
And I simply had to laugh at asdf. We're fighting a losing battle? Well we'll see about that. But gays and lesbians will stand up for their CIVIL RIGHTS for as long as it is needed. We will not back off. We will not be intimidated. We will continue to exposed NOM's shameful tactics, expose the true hatred and bigotry behind this organization. It's high time this is done. Count on us to be there, always, forever, until we get our basic rights.
The rates of problems in Massachusetts amongst the youth are indicative of the confusion being created in the minds of these kids.
We are fooling ourselves if we believe that kids don't know intuitively right from wrong, but when schools and a government tells them otherwise as is being done in Massachusetts then we should not be surprised that they end up acting accordingly.
Those pointing fingers at others who want to help young people remain in a stable society within balanced homes know this but they wont acknowledge it because they rather use these kids for their own purpose as Maggie stated.
Yes, Karen, Jesus knows my heart. I stand for natural marriage because I believe a Mom and a Dad is really important for children, and same sex couples can't provide that.
That doesn't mean I hate anyone. Jesus knows- I don't. And He's the one that judges my heart, not you.
The hate and bigot thing is breaking down as people realize they don't hate and they're not bigots because they embrace traditional marriage.
Yes, some very uncomfortable questions being asked here (pregnancy???). Expect the homosexualists to react with venomous vehemence. No facts or rebuttal, just hatred and bile.
I don't know if gay is always a choice, or not. But suicide is ALWAYS a choice. The ultimate cop-out.
It is clear that Ms. Gallagher is sadly uninformed and that so many of you have no idea what you are talking about. The communal lack of understanding is unfortunate. Gay teen suicide in part is caused from a child not having proper protection at home and in school from others that wish to cause them harm.
Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem and is never a proper response but try to explaining that to a frightened 11-13 child is not easy when they are the ones that have to walk into school everyday and be abused in what should be a safe setting.
"It is clear that... so many of you have no idea what you are talking about. "
I love pseudo experts. They have the best array of hats.
You reap what you sow.
If redefining marriage is the cure for gay suicides, then why are they still going on in Massachussetts? That and the number of other problems gay teens face in that state seems to indicate that gays are more prone to psychological depression regardless of their circumstances. And gay activists are using their opponents as scapegoats for things that could well be caused by mental and emotional disorders.
And the pregnancy rate amongst gays seems to indicate that homosexuality isn't genetic and is as permanant as skin complexion.
Also, does anyone have any statistics for the gay suicide rates in Massachusetts before and after gay marriage became legal?
"you people are very very wicked and sick in heart this is a sinful thing, there is no excuse. wake up and start taking a stand for what is right, then what is wicked Just know this God hates sin and he does know people hearts so you cannot hide your Heart from Him on anything even where you stand on this gay marriage thing."
Sticks and stones.
"Yes, Maggie HAS blood on her hands. Of course she does. So does NOM, Brian Brown, the Ruth Institute and Jennifer Roback Morse. And so does the Mormon Church, and many Christian organizations. So does Carly Fiorina, Carl Paladino and al."
You sure do love scapegoating don't you? I couldn't help but notice you didn't mention the black community in California, Alveda King, various other black civil rights leaders, or President Obama, all of whom agree that marriage should only be between a man and a woman. What's the matter? Are you afraid of being labelled a bigot? Because that's exactly what you are.
"Yep. Pretty horrifying charges. For pretty horrifying individuals. It's high time people be held accountable for the hate they propagate. Freedom of religion DOES NOT mean freedom to hate."
Enough. I am absolutely sick of having to repeat facts that have already been stated more than enough times to arrogant, close-minded individuals like yourself: OBJECTION TO GAY MARRIAGE IS NOT THE SAME THING AS HOMOPHOBIA.
Every time anyone speaks out against gay marriage, liberal extremists who are completely full of themselves automatically jump to conclusions and assume the worst about them, and then start spewing a bunch of nonsense that aligns them with anti-gay hate-mongers like Fred Phelps or Martin "Eat Da Poo Poo" Sempa, with no evidence or logic to back up their claims. One needs to look no further than the aftermath of Carrie Prejean's speech for proof of this.
"It's time NOM and others realize that their positions are on the fringe of society. They do not represent what educated Americans think about homosexuality and gay marriage."
Then could you care to explain why voters have passed constitutional amendments against it in 30 states?
"Homophobia is NOT the norm. It's not normal: it's not the way to go. And it's certainly NOT cool."
Well that's certainly something I agree with you on. But what does that have to do with redefining marriage?
"People are waking up to your disgusting views, Maggie."
Such as......?
"And I simply had to laugh at asdf. We're fighting a losing battle? Well we'll see about that. But gays and lesbians will stand up for their CIVIL RIGHTS for as long as it is needed."
As will I. But I will also fight for everyone else's right to free speech, health and safety, and protection from abuse. The moment you make these ridiculous accusations against someone whose only crime is making statements that conflict with your political agenda, you have violated those rights.
"We will not back off. We will not be intimidated. We will continue to exposed NOM's shameful tactics, expose the true hatred and bigotry behind this organization."
The door is wide open. Show me one real (as in not made up) piece of solid evidence that supports your claim.
"It's high time this is done. Count on us to be there, always, forever, until we get our basic rights."
Marriage is not a right. Deal with it.
"You know, the separation of church and state? It's in our Constitution. "
actually. It's not.
I don't think that gay marriage will help the issue of gay suicide at all. Many gay teens struggle with identity issues. They are different and don't know where they fit in society. The can be said about teens with disabilities. They too are different and they also resort to suicide. Does this mean that we should single them out and track their suicide rates? NO. EVERYONE has issues in their lives. EVERYONE at some point in their lives questions their place in society. Straight people commit suicide too but people don't make an issue out of the straight teen that killed themselves because they got their heart broken. Depression is the culprit not the issue of being gay.
There is a strong correlation with homosexual youth suicides and the acceptance of so called queer clubs in our public schools. These are places where they are recruited and indoctrinated into their lifestyle. Where else can you have a club whose charter is about sex.
Is it any wonder their is so much depression, disease and suicide?
No, it is your side that is on the fringe of society.
The Supreme Court itself described marriage as a union of one man and one woman.
Unfortuneately we now know the answer to the question "How is that homosexual lifestyle working for you?"
Donna, please stop. I think I speak for the majority of people here when I say that your comments are extremely offensive and inconsistent with NOM's message, which is about defining marriage as between a man and a woman and nothing else. What two people do in the privacy of their bedroom is neither your business or mine. And anytime you make such homophobic slurs, you are merely providing fodder to gay marriage supporters who claim that opposition to it is the same as homophobia. Please do not lose sight of the main issue, which is marriage, not a person's sexual orientation.
To anyone out there who is gay reading this and not posting. Hang in there. This life offers more, The trial you face will be a small amount of your life. I always put my life in perspective thinking that I am going to live to be 100 years old. School and teenage life was probably the hardest times, but think about it, being a teenager is 6 years. That's only 6 percent of your life. Don't give in to your feelings of sadness, but look to the 94 percent of your life ahead of you. Life gets better, but if you don't hang on, you'll never know. By the way leaving this world in a miserable state will not change your spirit in the next life. Death is not a magic wand that changes your spirit, it continues in the same state you left this mortal life.
adsf, I mean, when you tell someone that marriage is reserved for someone else, but not you is that not also homophobic? You can't eat at the same lunch counter or use our restroom. Lets both be honest, no matter how justified we feel in our reasoning. It really is the same. Consider the message this sends if not directly but inevitably to gay and lesbian youth. The message is "you and others like you, are not deserving of the most fundamental important relationship in life."
Well that explains a lot. Troll anyone?
I always had my suspicions.
Yes, marriage is a civil right. Get over it. Stop acting like a child, stop acting like if you had anything to lose. Objection to gay marriage IS homophobia. It is based on fears and prejudices and on false assumptions. Homosexuality, a lifestyle? A choice? A disease? Even an addiction??? You know, as long as NOM and people like Maggie and Brian keep promoting such views, we will be there to refute not only these hurtful and intolerant remarks, no, but also blatant lies. The fact is, you really have NO valid reason to prevent gays from marrying. It's YOU who have a problem with us. Gay marriage will not lead to a breakdown of society, to pedophilia, to bestiality, to polygamy, etc. Look at where gay marriage has been legal. These societies are open and tolerant: THESE are the American values. And you know what? These are the values most American believe in: most Americans do not see the point of NOM's tactic of homophobia and hatred. They don't make any sense of it, they don't understand. THAT is the reality. NOM is fighting a losing battle. So be it. But asdf, don't blame us for standing up for our basic civil rights. You are of a different view: sure. So be it. I have no problem with this, I accept ALL views. But stripe me of my rights, and you'll find me in your way. We will be there. And for as long as we need too, count on that.
As for evidences: well for once you could simply look around you, and talk to gays and lesbians. That would be one easy way to rebuke all the myths about homosexuals and hey, you may even find some of us quite pleasant to deal with.
Another would be for you to look at some credible studies on homosexuality and homoparentality. Nowhere is there any sign that kids fare less well because they are in a gay family. If these kids suffer, it is because of the homophobia and intolerance that is not only tolerated, but encouraged in schools. Not because of the homosexuality of their parents. Show me ONE credible study that shows the contrary... Sure, homoparental families are not perfect, they do not always provide the best environment, sure. There are abuses in those, too. But at the end of the day, there simply ARE no differences between gay and straight families.
And that may be the scary thing for you, asdf. We may end up being not so different than you, straight people, after all...
So what Donna? If we want to take it one step further. I can say the same thing when it comes to smokers. There are areas where smokers cant smoke like many public parks. Why cant they enjoy a day in the park and smoke when and if they want to in the park, But a non-smoker can? There are laws in this country for a reason and the marriage laws in this country is between 1 man and 1 woman PERIOD. If you and others cant or wont accept the law. Then, I suggest you go to another country where you like the marriage laws of that country.
Now, As for the gay suicides. It makes me sick that the gay community are trying to use it as a political movement. The people who are comminting suicides are the only ones to blame as they are the ones that are commiting the act. Dont blame others for someone else doing the act. All the blame goes to the people who commit suicide and nobody else.
Donna is clearly a troll. The views that she presents here clearly show a lack of message dicipline. They are nothing more that an attempt to prevent this group from collectively washing the blood of queer youth suicide off of it s hands. If she lived under a bridge and collected twenty five cents for passage, it wouldn't be any clearer.
Marty,
"But suicide is ALWAYS a choice. The ultimate cop-out."
Actually, those who commit suicide are more often than not in such a state of mental anguish/deep depression that there is no choice involved. Suicide is, unfortunately, an inevitable end to those experiencing a great deal of despair who do not receive proper help or support from family, friends, and mental health professionals.
There's a reason why some drug companies are being held accountable for suicides of young men and women who only ever began having suicidal tendencies after taking their medication.
You should NEVER blame the victim here.
"Each of these teens is a child of God. And each one deserves better from all of us than becoming a 'teachable moment' in someone else's culture war."
Exactly right.
But we will not let you wash your hands so easily. Someone has to be held accountable for those deaths. These people are NOM, Maggie, Brian, Jennfer, and those that support them.
Marriage WAS between 2 people of the same skin color too, back in the 40s-50s. Then people came to their senses. Again: we don't care that you think marriage is 1 man + 1 woman only. We really don't. The current law is unjust, unconstitutional, as federal courts have constantly insisted. The constitution does not allow discrimination, which is why the law will be changed.
We will not accept being discriminated, insulted, bullied, infantilized, bullied, etc. Enough is enough. You may not agree with us. Fine. You may refuse to see the evidences. FIne. You may think WE are actually stripping you of your rights, and of your freedom of religion. Again: fine. Do you know how little I care about all of this? One thing is certain: you are dead wrong if you expect the LGBT community to stay silent on these matters, to let our love called an "addiction" similar to alcoholism (a view which NOM supports by the way: NOM, in defiance of the law, supports Carl Paladino. But whatever.) We will NOT stand silent when people call us a threat to society, when people call our love a threat to society. When our houses are burned down. When we cannot visit our sick loved ones in hospitals. When our kids kill themselves, when they are not killed by others. When we witness hopelessly our loved ones being deported. Nope. That much, at least, should be clear by now.
And yet, the Supreme Court upheld anti-bigamy laws, even stating that marriage was between "one man and one woman".
"If the claim can be made for teen suicides happen because gay marriage isn’t allowed then there should be a counter claim of the facts of removing prayer from schools and the impacts it’s made which in turn caused the immoral decline of teens."
Right on RA!
"But we will not let you wash your hands so easily. Someone has to be held accountable for those deaths. These people are NOM, Maggie, Brian, Jennfer, and those that support them."
You're starting to sound a little unhinged there Nate....
"Apparently, either we all agree that gay marriage is good or gay children will die."
That is a terrible and baseless accusation to make against people simply because people disagree with your political ideas. Marriage is between a man and a woman. That is true no matter what your sexual proclivities and has nothing to with ss relationships. Have some decency people. It's heartless and cruel to drag the bodies of these poor teens out in the street to serve your political cause. Sick.
"It's heartless and cruel to drag the bodies of these poor teens out in the street to serve your political cause. Sick."
True but thats precisely what they want, because if there are gay children then the adult gay rights groups can use them as fodder to win their battles for them.
The gay groups have tried every tactic on the books to have gay marriage implemented throughout the states and each time such attempts have been met with a resounding No! by the people.
Since they've only been successful with activists judges and the people are on to them on that front they've figured to use kids now to gain sympathy and silence all opposition to their adult demands like ss marriage.
Threatening suicide when one doesn't get his way has got to be the most childish and immature manipulation tactic there is. How many prepubescent children have threatened the same thing when in disagreement with their parents?
And I doubt that people expressing views that differ from that of the homosexual community is the cause of gays killing themselves considering that the rate of gay suicides in Massachusetts is the same before the imposition of gay marriage as it is now.
So let's not abolish the first amendment constitutional right to free speech just yet.
Nate....Trying to compare interracial marriage to same sex marriage is just plain stupid. And then when you state the following "We don't care that you think marriage is 1 man + 1 woman only. We really don't". Of course you dont and that is why you and the gay community had no problem stealing votes from my family members in California and 7 million other votes in the state. Guess what? Respect is a 2 way street and if you and anybody else in the gay community think my family and I are going to have any respect for the gay community. Think again...... You and the rest of the gay community lost that respect once they showed disrespect to us. And I also have to agree with Andrew that is it sick to drag the bodies of these poor teens out in the street to serve your political cause.
It's sad that gay marriage supporters will keep on trotting out the dead bodies of these poor people to support their causes.
Would Tyler Clementi even want all of this media attention or to have his death support gay causes? What about all of the others? Does Matthew Shepard want his death politicized forever?
You're right, these kids have bigger issues (pregnancy, early sexual abuse, etc) and all of these things get ignored because people have the desire to roll all of these things into the great "cause". Great post, Maggie.
Jennifer,
this implication (that defending the traditional and historical definition of marriage is responsible for gay teen suicides) holds, as responsible, over a billion people who lived in Western civilization within the past thousand years or so.
As a gay person myself, i would like to say that this statement is a little far fetched. Legalizing marriage is not going to solve the problem. The problem lies in the hatred that is shown when homosexuality is being hated on. The approach that people have sometimes is very frightening. As a woman, i have been discrimated against by males, and to be honest, if i dont let them talk down to me, i could say one wrong thing and could be killed. On campus the other day a friend of mine had to have jaw surgery bc she stood up for herself and a man hit her. A persons past and experiences in life can/will make a person the way they are. Some will go to the bad and some will rise above it and be strong. I read in someone comment that homosexuals are needing the attention and will do anything for it. But love is love....being happy is being happy. If love is what those hurt teens need, then let them have it the way they need it, regardless of the sex. I dont agree with marriage, it is for a man and woman. But someone should never be told not to love or to feel loved. That is why they kill themselves. What is this world without love? God gave us this beauitful gift of love, humans have no say of how we use it.