The 5 Secrets of Happy Marriages


Time Magazine's Healthland blog on the recent State of Our Unions: Marriage in America report "When Baby Makes Three":

The authors came up with five qualities that happily married parents share. Moms were more likely to be happy in marriage if they had, in order:

  1. Sexual satisfaction
  2. Commitment
  3. Generosity to husband, including small acts of service like making coffee for him in the morning, expressing affection, and being willing to forgive
  4. Good attitude toward raising kids (i.e., she wanted them)
  5. Social support from family and friends

The top five predictors for happily wed dads were the same, except for No. 5, which was a shared "marital spirituality"; e.g., the couple says God is at the center of their marriage. Other characteristics of a content couple included having a similar faith and sharing the chores. (My personal favorite sentence in the report: "[W]omen are more likely to report that they are sexually satisfied when they report that they share housework with their husbands."


  1. Garrett
    Posted December 17, 2011 at 1:34 pm | Permalink

    "Filed under Same Sex Marriage" ... ?

  2. Bryce K.
    Posted December 17, 2011 at 3:28 pm | Permalink

    Garrett, they'll probably say something along the lines of how same sex sexuality is never satisfying. So the marriages will never last. Idk. Something strange.

  3. ResistSSA
    Posted December 17, 2011 at 3:55 pm | Permalink

    I'm trying to figure out why this report was worth spending money on. Ok, so these are the 5 things that happy marriages have in common; what do we do with them?

    Marriage is a commitment, a contract. What makes good contracts is a thorough understanding of the expectations on each side. Anybody who's ever done contract work knows that both client and consultant are happy when there are no surprises.

    Too many people get married unaware of what it entails, what their partners' expectations are, and even what their own expectations are. Probably the biggest misunderstanding that couples have is the belief that marriage is going to MAKE them happy.

    I have a great marriage, and if you ask me why, I'd say it's because my wife and I both came from parents who had good marriages; marriages in which the parents weren't necessarily always happy, but were great at working through things to keep the marriage together. This is one of the reasons why having a mom and a dad is so important to children: it teaches them how to maintain good marriages of their own some day.

  4. Jaime
    Posted December 17, 2011 at 6:20 pm | Permalink

    Sexual satisfaction as in the parts actually fit together as opposed to the stand placement of same sex genitalia that doesn't even count as intercourse.

    Husband and wife. Not two husbands, or two wives or any extended combination of multiple partners. THAT is what a marriage is.

  5. QueerNE
    Posted December 17, 2011 at 7:53 pm | Permalink

    Jaime-- I can appreciate your points about 'the true and immutable definition of marriage', but your point about sexual satisfaction makes less than no sense. If the husband or wife is satisfied by the others' performance, whether they have vaginal or anal or otherwise, THAT is sexual satisfaction. Your point is for an entirely different argument

  6. Rebecca
    Posted December 17, 2011 at 9:34 pm | Permalink

    I can help you with that one my husband NEVER helps with housework therefore never gets any and were both unsatisfied.

  7. Rebecca
    Posted December 17, 2011 at 9:39 pm | Permalink

    I'd have to add one more thing to that list unselfishness

  8. Michael
    Posted December 18, 2011 at 1:37 am | Permalink

    Sorry to hear that Rebecca! Maybe its time for a change?

  9. Bryce K.
    Posted December 18, 2011 at 2:56 am | Permalink

    Jaime, if the parts didn't fit, people wouldn't be doing it. Think about that.

  10. j. fox
    Posted December 18, 2011 at 3:06 pm | Permalink

    Sodomy is not responsible procreation .

  11. leo
    Posted December 18, 2011 at 3:32 pm | Permalink

    For that matter, sodomy does not constitute as sex...
    Bryce K the ass is use as an exist not an entry...homosexuals don't even know how to have sex

  12. Garrett
    Posted December 18, 2011 at 3:49 pm | Permalink

    It's one of the best forms of birth control, j. fox!

  13. Louis E.
    Posted December 18, 2011 at 3:50 pm | Permalink

    As long as couples are opposite-sex,"sodomy" can be within their discretion.There is a strong public interest in favoring opposite-sex over same-sex relationships.